“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:12-13

I am having one of those VERY rare Saturday mornings when I am the only one at home. I can barely stand it, I'm so excited!

Pacify me for a moment of explanation, please. My husband is teaching at a local college until noon and our soon-to-be-moving-out third son is off to work at the bank until noon. I have no outside commitments today.

The plan in my head was to have a sleep-in morning. You know, roll over a few times, look at the clock, know you don’t have to get up if you don’t want to, smile impishly and doze back off. But as soon as the men in my world were out the door, the strangest sensation occurred. My eyelids popped open, my brain registered the word “alone”, processed it for a few seconds and, faster than Superman changing in a corner phone booth, I was out of bed and pulling on my favorite lounge pants and sweatshirt.

Glancing at the clock, I realized I had four whole, complete, entire hours by myself. Choruses of “Joy To The World” rang in my ears and the less than normal number of hours of sleep I had seemed inconsequential. Now let me state a disclaimer at this point. I adore my husband, I truly do and our son is a delight to have around but our workdays usually coincide which means when I get up, we’re all here and when I get home we’re all here. If I’m not at a speaking event on a weekend, we’re usually all here involved in activities and well, are you feeling my twitterpations yet?

I quickly made the bed (remnants of my mother’s training, she would be so proud) combed my hair and found an old headband to keep my too-long bangs out of my eyes. I tossed a load of towels in the washer and headed for the kitchen. This is where the joy begins.

I chose my newest white ceramic teapot and matching cup, a Christmas gift from a cherished friend, prepared my honey tea and found a small tray in the pantry. While the tea was steeping, I began preparations for a bowl of oatmeal with raisins (my very favorite breakfast food outside of blueberry pancakes and Joyce’s cinnamon rolls) and ran down to my office to fire up my laptop.

On the way back upstairs to check the oatmeal, I glanced out the picture window in our family room, sensed that the woods was enjoying its own quiet morning and shouted “Glorious” as I took the steps two at a time back to the kitchen. The oatmeal was cooked to perfection (90 seconds in the microwave), the tea ready for sipping. I took a small Christmas napkin out of the countertop basket, placed it on the tray, arranged my teapot and cup, added the oatmeal and a bottled water and with greedy anticipation steered my feet to my office.

My desk faces a large window overlooking the woods, the window is open (we’re having an unusually warm winter, much to the dismay of my snow-loving nature), I’ve turned off the washer so I can hear the birds and I am right now feeling the breeze and listening to some ducks flying overhead.

This was the lead-in to the very, very best part…I’m going to get to spend the next few hours in praise and prayer and study of Father’s overwhelmingly loving Word. Please don’t stop reading now. Please don’t make the assumption that I’m so good, or so holy or so self-disciplined or any of those righteous phrases, that I hasten to be “spiritual” and forego reading a great book or going shopping or meeting with a friend for coffee or watching a favorite movie. I definitely use leisure times to do all of those things, I absolutely do.

But you understand why I got such pleasure out of fixing tea in a special teapot, don’t you? You connect with my glee over precious hours of undisturbed moments. You “get it” that pulling on faded lounge pants and a hooded sweatshirt with the tie string missing is so delightful. Why? Because it meets my need for feelings of peace, contentment, beauty, calm, blessed repose. And since I rarely get to have a morning like that in one chunk, it makes it a time to almost cradle and treat with tenderness. You understand.

Which is exactly why I am cherishing what will happen next as I pick up my Bible and nestle into the wingback chair in the corner, surrounded by an old comforter from the childhood bed of one of our sons. God is all twitterpated about the time He and I will spend together and I have come to feel the same about Him.

It is so rare to be able to have these larger chunks of time in sweet fellowship. And when my babies were at home and I was a stay-at-home-mom, I spent time in prayer and study, but my prayers were more a to-do list for God and my study was because there was a new class to prepare for. Rarely, and I mean only once in a blue moon, did I spend chunks of alone time in His presence just to delight in His Presence.

Oh, I loved Him. No doubt about that, I loved Him and wanted to be His and follow His leading as much as anything I ever desired. I wanted to do it all right. Be the right wife, be the right mom, be the right speaker, be the right teacher, be the right casserole preparer, be the right ministry leader be the right ________. But I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I came up short. Miles short in some areas, not sure I was really even in the game in others. I was not enough. I wasn’t then and I’m not now and I guarantee you, I won’t be when my lungs are struggling to take their last breath.

That’s when I finally told Him I needed more of Him and less of me. And as the years have passed, hardly a day passes that I don’t whisper to Him, “Please, please, for today, all of You and none of me, please, please, may it be so.” And He has faithfully and tenderly shown me the fullness of knowing Him and delighting in His Word.

I still strive in the things I do (well, I strive harder at some than others!) but instead of setting out to do it right, I strive for excellence, not perfection. The days still seem to have more to do than hours to accomplish the tasks and stress and frustration still rear their ugly heads at times but more and more my peace, contentment, beauty, calm and blessed repose is found at the feet of the Throne and in the pages of the Word.

May I ask you to consider the same? Ask a friend to keep the children for a few hours, take a half-day vacation if you’re employed, find a place of uninterrupted moments and ask Him to fill you with all of Him. I will make you a promise (actually, it’s not my promise, it’s His), if you seek Him, He will be found by you. He will infuse you with His Spirit and as you commit to occasional large chunks of time with Him, the glorious reality will begin and even those small snippets of time you have with Him will bring a smile of tender remembrance to your face as you recall your last fellowship together…and to His.

Loving you and praying for your desire for Him,

Kay